I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
