It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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