You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
