Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
