My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
