As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
