wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
