I'm really into asian looking animals
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Panties = found
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
