Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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