maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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