we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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