is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
