Christians are straight up FREAKS
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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