so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
