the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You pole danced in your parka.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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