just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
