Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
