: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
