Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
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