your room smells of hookers.
And success
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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