its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
