yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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