he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
