If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
third nipple confirmed
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
