When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
