she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
