Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
