He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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