I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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