My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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