you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
of course. lets lasso hookers.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
