I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
