If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
They are going to name an STD after you.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
