what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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