he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
