M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
