im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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