I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
