please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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