You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
