btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
