I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
