And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
