No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
