Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
