He is an equal opportunity slut.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
