but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
