My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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