Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
