Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
