Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
