I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
