so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
