brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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