There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
