just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize